Understanding Today's Narcissist
Understanding Today's Narcissist

Episode 16 · 2 years ago

Narcissists and Their Flying Monkeys

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Art imitates life and so it is with “Flying Monkeys”. The term was coined from the movie “The Wizard of Oz” in which the Wicked Witch dispatches monkeys to fly and get Dorothy and her dog. The monkeys obey her command, doing her dirty work for her, taunting and terrorizing Dorothy as she tries in vain to get back home. And so it is with narcissists and their flying monkeys.

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...to grow with Christine Dot com forward slash narcissism. That's grow with Christine dot com, forward slash narcissism. This master class will change your life again. That's grow with Christine Dot Com. Forward Slash Narcissism. Oh this is understanding. Today's narcissist brought to you in part by Psych Centralcom and now here's your host, Christine Hammond. Hi and welcome back. Today we are going to talk about Narcissus and their flying monkeys, so bear with me as I explain what this is. I think it's going to be very enlightening to you as...

...we go through it. So let's talk about flying monkeys. Art Imitates Life, and so it is with flying monkeys. Their term was coined from the movie the wizard of Oz. You might remember it, Dorothy and her little red slippers, in which the wicked witch dispatches monkeys to fly and get Dorothy and her dog. The monkeys obey her command. They do her dirty work for her. They taunt and terrorized Dorothy as she tries in vain to get back home. And so it is with narcissists. And they're flying monkeys, as if a magical spell has taken over. The bond between the narcissist and their flying monkeys is one of unwavering loyalty, even in the face of danger. When the narcissist wants to invoke some punishment on a target, they dispatch...

...their henchmen, Aka flying monkeys, to do their bidding. Unfortunately, this can and often does include abusive behavior such as guilt tripping, twisting the truth, gas lighting, assaults, threats and violence. This keeps the narcissist out of harm's way and able to claim innocent if caught. To be sure, not just narcissists are capable of conjuring up a group of flying monkeys. sociopaths and psychopaths are even more talented at this. The difference is that the narcissist remains true to their selfish pursuits continually, whereas a psychopath and sociopath are willing to abandon their selfishness in order to gain a deeper level of commitment by subjugating themselves to the target. The sociopath is usually in it for the short term gain, where the psychopath, well, that may take a lifetime, if...

...ever, to actually reveal their true selves. So who are these flying monkeys and why do they willingly some meant to such a character as a narcissist, psychopath or sociopath? weirdly enough, this happens all the time. Think of a bully political leader and not too far off in the distance is their chief of staff, their media director and Personal Assistant, all lined up to do whatever is asked. Or how about a sports publicity or financial managers of an influential athlete? Then there is the C suite, all standing guard to protect and insulate the corporate narcissistic president or CEO. So what makes them do this? Ironically, many of the people who are flying monkeys actually have a disorder that the narcissists praised upon to meet their own needs. Here are going to be some examples so that you can get a better idea of what it looks...

...like and why they have this unwavering, long term commitment to the narcissist. The Flying Monkey might actually be narcissistic themselves. It really seems strange to start off this list with other narcissist, but here's what it looks like. A narcissist will submit to another one so long as there is a benefit, such as power, influence, money, prestige or the hope of overtaking the other narcissist in the future. However, as soon as the stream of benefits is cut off, the narcissist abandons their idol and replaces it with themselves. That's what it looks like when the flying monkey is a narcissist. Now, what if the Flying Monkey has generalized anxiety disorder? By nature, this disorder has a continual stream of anxiety on which, the surface, doesn't seem like a...

...good fit for the narcissist. But again, it is the arrogant confidence with which the Narcissus continually protracts is attractive to the overly anxious person who can't just seem to rest or relax. They are drawn to narcissus like flies to fly paper, and they stick just as well. However, when the anxiety diminishes, they sometimes wake up from the spell and try to fly free. That's what it looks like when the Flying Monkey has generalized anxiety disorder. Now, what if the flying monkey is a codependent? Well, Narcissus and codependence are a match made in you can fill in the blank there. Their mutual dysfunction is fed in a very unhealthy manner. narcissists need constant tending to, in daily feedings of attention to soothe their hided insecurities. Codependants naturally like to serve...

...and rescue others as a way of gaining satisfaction and purpose. However, when the people pleasing codependent heals from their unhealthy patterns, the narcissist feels abandoned and exits. It's what it looks like when the flying monkey is a codependant. What happens when the flying monkey is an addict? Well, when the narcissist is the enabler, the addict will do or say anything to stay in their good graces. Ultimately, they will make the perfect companion because all they need is a fix, which is easily supplied by the narcissist. Intuitively, the narcissist understands this, because they too need a daily attention fix. The problem comes in when the attic goes too far. It needs too much from the narcissist, who is repulsed by needy people, except for themselves, of course. Usually this is where the relationship ends, when the attic becomes clean or the narcissist cuts them off. That's what it looks like when the flying monkey is an addict. So what happens when the flying monkey has dependent personality disorder?...

Well, this is one of the hardest bonds to break because within the definition of dependent personality disorder is a person who is wholly dependent on another, not codependent, just dependent. Think of it as the difference between a person who likes their house to be an order, the codependant, for someone who has to clean the whole House daily with bleach, the dependent. It is a much stronger attachment. The dependant won't make any decision, including small ones, without the narcissist, which feeds the narcissistic I'm superior complex. Sadly, I've never seen it dependently the narcissist. Even after divorce or death, there is as strange you will always be mine attachment. The dependent continually glorifies the narcissist, even in the face of atrocities. That's what it looks like when you're flying monkey. It has dependent personality disorder. Now are going to get...

...to something a little bit more scary. What happens when you're flying monkey is actually a sociopath. Well, sociopaths are last on this list because they like to hide their evil deeds behind the narcissistic shadow. It is not because they are committed to the narcissist for all truistic values. They don't have those. Rather, it's because the narcissistic persona sucks the oxygen out of the air. So in attack by a sociopath rarely goes noticed. The narcissist thinks that they are leading the sociopath and they like them think that. But actually the socio your path is the puppet master of the narcissist, who plays on their hidden vulnerabilities and insecurities. For that reason, the sociopath doesn't leave, because the narcissist is their cover whom they will throw under the bus given the right chance and right circumstance. So that's what it looks like when you're flying monkey is...

...a sociopath. So the next time you watch a movie or you look into your own personal life and you see the narcissist, look for the flying monkeys, because there are so many out there. A lot of times, when you see them in the movie, though, it is far easier to spot them in real life. So start there, look at it and get a better viewpoint, because not only do they exist, they exist to do the narcissist bidding. Thanks for listening to understanding. Today's narcissist with Christine had, brought to you in part by Psych Central Dotcom for more information, visit grow with christinecom.

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